Ever felt something so strong it has the ability to melt you, ignite you, fill you with excitement and infuriate you all at the same time? To have something both fill you and empty you but leave you so happy and satisfied you’d never want it any other way. I can’t describe it any other way than that. To want to give everything you have til there’s nothing left, to love and to want to do that again and again, everyday. It’s amazing. Something beyond science, religion, or perceptual thinking. It exists without us knowing how.
By definition, I do believe that is a miracle.
I am not the first person you loved.
You are not the first person I looked at with a mouthful of forevers.
We have both known loss like the sharp edges of a knife. We have both lived with lips more scar tissue than skin.
Our love came unannounced in the middle of the night.
Our love came when we’d given up on asking love to come.
I think that has to be part of its miracle.
This is how we heal.
I will kiss you like forgiveness. You will hold me like I’m hope. Our arms will bandage and we will press promises between us like flowers in a book. I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat on your skin. I will write novels to the scar of your nose. I will write a dictionary of all the words I have used trying to describe the way it feels to have finally, finally found you.
And I will not be afraid of your scars.
I know sometimes it’s still hard to let me see you in all your cracked perfection, but please know:
Whether it’s the days you burn more brilliant than the sun or the nights you collapse into my lap, your body broken into a thousand questions, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I will love you when you are a still day.
I will love you when you are a hurricane.